A JOURNEY IN RUNNING, LIVING, LAUGHING AND LOVING

Honest to blog

Monday, April 9, 2012

So, this is going to be an honest blog. As you know, if you've read, oh, any of my last ten or so blogs, the running bug has been absent from my life lately. I've found little to no joy and little to no fun in running since the Princess half. In fact, on Saturday, I was supposed to run 12 miles. I'd talked myself down to 10. Then I procrastinated leaving for so long that I only had time to do 7.5. I also skipped my mid-week run last week. Ugh. 

I had to ask myself, "Self, what was it you LOVED about running when you started?" And here's the truth: I loved that it was a release for the stress that had been building. I loved that it was something that gave me focus. But mostly, I LOVED that it made me feel strong when I sort of felt like strength was fleeting. 

In a weird way, I don't want to beat myself up about not running right now, because in a weird way, I think that my lack of running just means that I don't need it to feel strong. (Maybe someone should call the weird police!) I just... feel strong again. Running propelled me there. I'm happy with where I'm at. And I'm not feeling the need to compete with myself daily to continue to prove that I can do it. I think maybe I just know I can do it. 

That being said, we'll see how I feel at mile 9 or mile 12 of the Indy Half Marathon (which, thanks to E's countdown, I know is only 25 short days away!). I want to do well, of course, but I'm not willing to sacrifice a ton of my time and a marginal amount of my happiness to do it right now. The goal is to get a good run in tomorrow, a loooooooooong run in on Saturday, and then taper down until the race. I have busy weekends ahead (a celebration this weekend, Vegas for Shannon's bachelorette party, shopping for bridesmaids dresses with T), and I'm not willing to push off those things for runs. 

(The love comes back eventually, right?)

10 comments:

  1. Wow, that was honest! LOL. I'm laughing at my end of the computer though you can't see that in my typed words :) You have to do what's right for you when it's right for you. You have done amazing things that some people will "never" do or even try & you can be soooo proud of that! Do Indy however, walk/run, it doesn't matter how you cross the line...they will still hang that bling around your neck little lady!!! Just have fun doing it.

    Saturday I did a whopping 2 miles. I had been doing all that scrubbing at work (squatting up & down) for 1.5 days & my legs hurt so bad I couldn't hardly run. It actually hurt to walk for several days prior. *side note, I did quit this time instead of pushing through*. I'm making another attempt tomorrow morning & hoping for better results. I am at a different place in my life. I'm twice your age and just lost my sister. Her being terminally ill (even though it was only 4 short months) made me look at my life. I am pretty happy with where I've been and where I am. If I died tomorrow what would I regret? Not doing the Disney Goofy Challenge. I wanted to do it last year but funds just weren't there. So January 2013 here I come and if I don't walk away with my 3 medals it sure won't be from lack of trying :) I'm not getting any younger & I feel I need to get this done. I feel healthy today but who knows what tomorrow will bring?

    We are at different places & we have different reasons for what we do. Do what makes you happy. Enjoy your friends & celebrations & enjoy running when it's good for you :)))

    Again, so very proud of you! You are such a sweet person. I enjoy your blog so I really hope you continue to post on here...running or not.
    P.S.
    Yeah, the love comes back...wait til you see my 3 Disney medals...lol

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  2. You're right, Sherry! I had a pretty positive thought day today -- I'm no longer wishing for a twisted ankle or a thunderstorm the morning of Indy, so that's huge! I'm trying not to push myself so much on this one -- I have a lot of friends doing it, and I just want to enjoy it with them.

    I'm SO excited for you signing up for the Disney Goofy Challenge! How are you feeling? You've got this in the bag, and I can't wait to hear about your journey! Those three medals are YOURS!

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  3. Oh my Goodness, I'm glad you got your thinking cap back on correctly!!! I think it's awesome you'll be running with friends. Did you warn them "no heavy feet or heavy breathing"? Lol. Maybe just taking the pressure off yourself will make you happier about running.

    I had hubby put money in the bank for my registration last week. He's trying to sign me up & it declines my debit card 3 times! I'm at work totally stressing, thinking what if it sells out before I get home!!! *it probably won't but you know how bad I want this & if it closes you are done* Yikes, what do I do? So I did it on a credit card. I still don't know why it wouldn't take the debit card but, oh well, I secured a spot! I ran 2.5 miles yesterday. Probably would have gone a little farther but I was out of time. My legs are still sore...what the heck??? I'm due for a short run on Thursday then I'll attempt 13 on Saturday or Sunday. Hoping for leg recovery before then.

    Wishing you a happy/carefree week :)

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  4. I'm SO excited for you, Sherry! I can't wait to hear how training goes and know you're going to have an awesome experience! Eeek! It's finally happening!

    I have a long run coming this weekend too -- let's hope for good weather (did you see the forecast?! Ick!). I started looking at summer 5K's yesterday and that got me excited about running again, so I think it's time for a rest from the long ones after this. Maybe I'll just get super speedy fast this summer! :)

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  5. Once you register it kinda makes it legit huh?

    I did not see the forecast but I better go look. How many more long runs do you have? ***You don't want to know how many I have...hahaha*** I think you'll be happy with some 5K's after all you've done :) They say running those short races can help you speed up. Just get through Indy (cause you are not a quitter!) and then smooth sailing for awhile!

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  6. Just one more long one for me! I want to get in 10-11 this weekend, and then a few six milers after that. I'll be out of town next weekend (Las Vegas for a bachelorette party!) and the weekend after (Chicago to go bridesmaid dress shopping!), so I'm not going to beat myself up too much if I don't get great runs in.

    Indy, here I come! Three and a half weeks and then a whole lotta short runs, rest, and reinvigorating!

    So happy that you were able to sign up for Disney! You will LOVE it!

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  7. Hope you can get that long one in. Your plan sounds good. Have a great time on your weekend trips with the girls :)

    I think I will love it...if I survive!

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  8. I think you are right - everyone gets a little burned out and needs perspective sometimes. Good luck in Indy, and I bet your love will come back!

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  9. Update on the Jeff Galloway run/walk program. 2 years ago I ran a 1/2 marathon & it took me 2.5 hours. That was just running it but I did walk a little between mile 8 & 9 as it was hot & they were out of water at that spot & I was tired. Today I ran 13.2 miles using the run/walk (run 4 minutes/walk 1 minute) and it took me 2 hours & 40 minutes. I was no where near as tired at the end of it (temperature wasn't nearly as hot either). So in the end, it added 10 minutes to my time & I'm not as tired and beat up as I am from just straight running & I enjoyed it more, so there you have it. Keep in mind my legs were so sore last weekend I could only run 2 miles so I might be able to do better when my legs are normal. I think I like this plan :)

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  10. I'm really happy to hear that, Sherry! I've been walk/running too, and it really seems to be working for me! My legs are sore today but I still went out for a couple of miles. I think part of the soreness may also be weather related -- not all running related!

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